Those of you who know me well, and those of you who have a reasonable imagination will no doubt find it easy to appreciate that I sometimes have mixed feelings about this pregnancy (sorry baby). It wasn't planned, and it means that I haven't had a year off being pregnant since 2011...
Most of the time, I've been going along half pretending that I'm not pregnant (as much as is possible with a giant bump) and literally trying not to think about it. Because there's not very much to be done at this stage (6 months), except waddle and wait.
On Saturday, however, I slipped and fell on the ice - landing heavily on my bottom. And it was at that minute (and subsequent monitoring and knicker checking afterwards) that I realised I would be devastated if anything happened to this little bean. That yes, I didn't seek him out, but I do love and want this little man, doing his best to grow inside me.
It's difficult watching friends and family who would love to be pregnant, trying and failing when I go around complaining or not wanting to talk about my pregnancy. And I would have HATED myself six years ago when I had never been pregnant and had no idea if it would ever happen... But I suppose that's the lottery of life.
Mind you, I'm still pretending it's not happening most of the time... too much to think about!
From the mouths of babes...
I was watching TV the other day and the advert came on for bio oil products - you may have seen it. It has women saying things like "I'm taking a stand against stretchmarks" "I'm taking a stand against wrinkles."
Lily turned to me and said "Mummy, do you want some of that?"
I said "what for?"
"For your wrinkles?"
"Where are my wrinkles"
"Everywhere! Here, here, all down here."
I think she thinks her mum is a shrivelled prune.
Which is nice.