Here I sit, watching my beautiful children play with each other - laughing, happy, carefree. It's like there's a barrier between me and them that I seem unable to break down.
I wish I was stronger. I wish I could accept life as it comes and not worry all the time - I would be a better mummy for it. As it is, I just feel like giving up at the moment. Something keeps me hanging on, but when every day is a nightmare, it's not easy!!
On a more positive note, Joe and Timmy have really started to play together well - chasing each other, screaming and laughing. And I'm pretty sure Evie smiled at me this morning. What wonderful children I have!
I'm sorry that what started off as a humorous blog is getting so blummin' morbid. Hope that I can recapture my sense of fun and be "me" again!